Monday, December 25, 2006

NOT A DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!! DINOSAUR JOE IS AT THE TARPIT CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION AND CAN'T DO A POST SO HE ASKED ME ELF JOE TO HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111!!!!!!!!!! THE CHRISTMAS ELF IS THE COOLEST ELF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!! IT HELPS SANTA WITH HIS PRESENT MAKING!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!! THEY GET PAID LOW WAGES AND GET TREATED LIKE DIRT BUT THEY CANT GET ANY BETTER JOB SO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THE PRESENTS FOR SANTA!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!1! THIS HAS LED TO SOME REVOLUTIONS BUT THE ALL POWERFUL SANTA WITH HIS LASER EYES QUICKLY QUELLS THEM!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!! SOME ELF RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE GETTING MAD AT SANTA FOR THIS BUT THEY CANT STOP SANTA BECAUSE HE HAS LASER EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!! I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS ELF AND IT LOVES ME. THIS KID ALSO LOVES THE CHRISTMAS ELF.











THIS KIDS MOM DOESNT LOVE CHRISTMAS ELVES THOUGH!!!!!11!!!! SHE IS VILE AND LOVES SANTA1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

Vincent said...

Hello, Elf Joe! I'm happy to find that Dinosaur Joe has some opportunity to celebrate Christmas festivities. That he's attending this celebration in Tarpit (with dinosaurs, I'd assume), this leads me to all sorts of questions regarding the religious and cultural traditions of the dinosaurs. But I'll save those for Dinosaur Joe.

However, Elf Joe, as you seem to be the expert on elves, I do have some points I'd like to have elucidated, if at all possible. I know you're only in for a guest spot, but I need some assistance comprehending the world of elves. Indeed, even though I find myself constantly in need of assistance in taking in Dinosaur Joe's constant barrage of mind-blowing facts regarding the denizens of Tarpit, I know far more about dinosaurs than I do elves (Would you believe I once wanted to be a paleontologist?). In fact, up until now, I wasn't aware elves existed!

However, I trust Dinosaur Joe would only entrust his blog to one whom he trusts (that's a lot of "trust!"). First of all, as you declare the Christmas Elf to be the be "THE COOLEST ELF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!," I wonder what other sorts of elves there are? Are Christmas Elves the only ones and, by virtue of their lone status, find themselves coolest by default? Or are there a wide variety of elves?

My next questions are largely contingent on the assumption that there are multiple varieties of elves. Given this, why is it that the Christmas Elves cannot find better jobs? Surely their non-Christmas counterparts do find better work (please correct any unwarranted assumptions I may make!). Are the Christmas Elves despised among elves? If so, why? Who makes up the "elf rights activists" you mention? Are the conditions of other elves in such dire circumstance?

I find the fact that Santa has laser eyes to be, admittedly, awesome. However, it greatly saddens my soul to find that the jolly man in red whose coming we herald each December 25th lords these awesome powers over the Christmas Elves, whose demeanor we've been sold as being jolly. I can't help but worry that the presents we all opened with such wondrous glee this morning couldn't be deemed "blood presents."

Thank you, Elf Joe, for alerting me to a problem I didn't even realize could exist.

Yarjka said...

I guess I was wrong to kill my parents when I found out that Santa doesn't exist -- turns out he does. My bad, mom and dad!

Dinosaur Joe said...

HEY GUYS I'M DONE WITH MY SELF PROCLAIMED CHRISDTMAS BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!!!! ELF JOE GAVE ME THE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS SO HERE IT GOS!!!!!!1111111!!!!! THERE ARE LOTS OF ELVES CHRISTMAS ELVES CANT LEAVE THE NORTH POLE AND ELF RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE RANDOM PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ELVES!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!!!!! ELF JOE ALSO SAYS VINCENT ASKS TOO MANY POINTLESS QUESTIONS AND THAT YARJKA NEEDS THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111!
OH AND VINCENT YOU SHOULD ASHAMED THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A PALEONTOLOGIST BECAUSE THEN EXPERTS WOULD FEED ALL THEIR FAKE KNOWLEDGE INTO YOU!!!!!111111111!!!!!!

Vincent said...

Is it not possible, Dinosaur Joe, to become a paleontologist without falling into the horrible pitfalls of "experts?" Is the entire study of dinosaurs and other, ancient life inherently flawed in this regard?

Dinosaur Joe said...

ITS POSSIBLE BUT ONLY IF YOU LIVE ON PANGEA!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!

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Thirdmango said...

And somehow you're able to spot christmas lovers! Will these wonders never cease?

Dinosaur Joe said...

ELF JOE IS AMAZING AT THOSE TYPE OF THINGS!!!!!!!11111111!!!!